Pediatric Neurosurgery

With AP Exams, FPN, and graduation just around the corner, it seems like I can finally see the finish line. But getting from where I stand right now to that end point is certainly no easy task. I have had some difficulties in my Final Product and am currently a little stressed about how it will all turn out. As this is my second year in ISM, I want to create something that surpasses what I did last year - but to be quite frank, it seems a little impossible. It is challenging to come up with something new in a field that you've already completed several projects in. However, I am determined to think outside of the box and come up with a product that truly does encompass everything I have learned thus far.

Coming into March, I knew it would be extremely busy. The first weekend I had a college interview. The second weekend, I was helping run an event for international students at UTD. The third weekend, I was in Oklahoma being a small group leader for a church camp. The fourth weekend, I was attending a missions seminar and we had family coming in from out of town. Add school and volunteering and various other responsibilities to the mix, and it seemed like I was bound to fall apart at any moment. Idleness has never been a word in my dictionary and I have always lived a relatively fast paced lifestyle. However, this past month, I wondered if perhaps I was being stretched too thin. It seemed like the list of tasks I needed to accomplish would never end - for every one thing I managed to finish, another two were added. This past week especially has been a struggle for me. Not only physically exhausted, but also mentally. My steam has begun to run out and it is difficult for me to remember that there is any purpose to any of this.
I think my lack of motivation was evident. Last week, Mr. Wysong pulled me aside and for lack of better word, gave me a "pep talk." He reminded me that there were people watching me and looking up to me. If I gave up now, not only would I disappoint those around me, but I would be failing myself. He challenged me to find the strength within me to give everything I had and finish strong. With less than 70 days left till graduation, it blows my mind that the end is actually within sight. However, between today and June 4th lie AP exams, and Final Presentation Night, and Final Product.  Though these last few months will be incredibly testing, I know that if I do not give it my all, I will later regret it.

In the midst of Chiara malformation resection, one might imagine pin-drop silence and complete and absolute concentration. But instead, I find myself surrounded by light-hearted, but meaningful conversations. Dr. Price, who is the only female pediatric neurosurgeon in Dallas, is someone I would arguably consider "Super Woman." In addition to being a pediatric neurosurgeon, she's a single mom and has adopted a daughter from China. It amazes me how, in the middle of her incredibly hectic life, she found to not only have a family, but raise them. Every time I stand in her operating room, I always hear stories about her children and the latest going on in her life - whether it be about her favorite cabinet in her kitchen, or how her daughter is learning how to cook or the flowers she is planning on planting in her garden. But beyond that, I truly appreciate how Dr. Price always takes time to truly teach me and explain to me what exactly is going on. In this last visit, I had the privilege of being able to see a Chiara malformation. I have said this over and over but the difference between researching about a particular disease and seeing it in person is truly mind-blowing. To read more about my experience, click here.

After a lengthy break, I was able to go and visit Dr. Weprin around 2 weeks ago. The morning started off with rounds and one of the most interesting things about this visit was the variety of personalities that were present. Each individual had a distinct manner of carrying themselves but they were all incredibly brilliant. Going to the clinic is always exciting because I learn something new with each experience - although it may not always be about pediatric neurosurgery. I was also able to meet with Ms. Stefanie Beavers who will be helping me a lot and giving me guidance on my Final Product. I was also able to sit in on a lunch conference in which some of the latest research was being discussed. It was particularly interesting to me how all the doctors bounced ideas off of each other and offered their own opinions to ultimately come to one conclusion or action plan. To read more about my visit, click here.

15 hours. To some, that is just a number. But for me, that is the total amount of sleep I got last week between Monday and Friday. Even if you are not brilliant at math, that averages out to three hours of sleep a night. In perspective, I got more sleep during my junior year of high school, which is supposedly the hardest year. Everyone said senior year would be very relaxed and stress-free. Needless to say, this past week proved otherwise.
However, to be completely fair, I think majority of my friends in ISM also faced an unprecedented amount of sleep last week. Original Work, which some might consider a mini Final Product, was due on Friday. Though this project had been assigned months in advance, many of us mistakenly made the choice of waiting until the last week to even begin working on it. Originally, I had planned on doing a statistical analysis of the growth of tumors. But because of some unforeseen difficulties, I decided to shift my topic to a more missional topic: global surgery.
I have mentioned this in previous posts, but in regards to my career, I am more interested in pursuing something along the lines of medical missions. However, what exactly is the need? Is it providing treatment for diseases such as HIV and Malaria? Or, is it developing proper healthcare systems? Is it surgery? These are just a few of the questions I researched more thoroughly in my Original Work.
Though it took an incredible amount of effort and numerous sleepless nights in a row, I am proud of the work that I completed.
To see my final report, click here.

Over the past two years or so, I have come to learn quite a bit about the field of pediatric neurosurgery. From intensively researching hydrocephalus to seeing tumor resections, I think it is safe to say that I have been exposed to a considerable amount within this field. However, I have always felt that something was missing. On a personal level, I have always had more of a missionary mind-set. A few weeks, I reached out to medical missionaries all across the United States and was able to interview two of them. To my memory, I cannot remember an interview that left me feeling more happier than that one. Throughout the entire conversation, I could not help but identify and sympathize with everything that was being said. The passion for helping others was so evident in their responses and it excited me. As a person of faith, I have always been curious to see if it was possible to tie together my passion for my faith with my passion for medicine and helping people. It was not until recently that I even considered medical missionary as a potential career but as I have explored it more, it seems as if there would be no other job that suits me so perfectly. This being said, for my Original Work, I have decided to take a different approach that what I had initially planned. Through my interview, I became more aware of the fact that there is an immense need for safe and affordable surgical procedures in developing countries. With this as my basis, I want to explore more comprehensively what is lacking within low and middle income countries in regards to health care systems. This will help me better understand what kind of services I would be providing if I do indeed decide to venture down the path of medical missions.

This past week, I had the opportunity to go visit Fowler Middle School along with a group of other ISM students and talk to them about the ISM Program. It is interesting feeling because it seems like just a short while back when I was in their position listening to the previous ISM students give that same presentation. It was through that presentation that I was first exposed to and blown away by the ISM Program and here I was, 5 years later, giving that presentation to current middle schoolers. I vividly remember Morgan Fritz coming to my GT English Class and presenting her final product, which was a game designed for children with special needs.I remember wondering in awe how a high schooler had managed to do something so neat. Though I was a little nervous going in, the presentation overall went smoothly. I was worried that my topic, pediatric neurosurgery, might intimidate and turn some students off automatically but as I began talking, I found myself being driven completely by my inner passion. Even if the students had absolutely no idea what pediatric neurosurgery was, the fact that I was able to pursue my passion in situation in which the sky literally was the limit captivated them. And even till this day, that is what drives me every single day in ISM. Having the freedom to learn what I want to learn and explore what I want to explore - that is truly what ISM is all about. And I have no doubt that it will be this same factor that continues to inspire kids to pursue great and mighty things in the years to come.

1 semester. 18 weeks. 126 days. 3,024 hours. 181,440 minutes. Though it may seem like a lot, there is no doubt in my mind that it will pass by within a blink of an eye. It blows me away to think that I am halfway through my senior year of high school. With only one more semester left, I am caught between the struggle of simply cruising by and slacking off or giving my all and ending on a strong note. Though it may take some occasionally reminders, I feel that if I do not keep pushing through till the end, I will not have that sense of satisfaction and content that I long for. In regards to ISM particularly, I want to have a final product that truly captures everything that I have learned in my two year journey through pediatric neurosurgery. But, I also want it to be something that will leave a legacy within the ISM program. After quite a bit of contemplation, I realized that my passion lies for medical missions and I wish to incorporate this into my final product in some way. I have begun my reaching out to various medical mission organizations all across the US, asking for research interviews. In some ways, it feels as if I am starting the process all over again but in another way, it feels as if I am pursuing what I am truly passionate about and so in that sense, I am really excited. I have just a short time left before the school ends but I am determined to give my all in everything and make the best of what is yet to come.

Things have been quite eventful these last few weeks to say the least. About a week ago, I was involved in a serious car accident and by the grace of God, other than a small hairline fracture, I am doing okay. But, in regards to my journey in ISM, one thing I really wanted to share was my experience being on the other side. All throughout my mentorship, I have been able to see surgeries and watch patients in clinic, but I have always been viewing it from the perspective of the doctor or of an observer. However, after my accident, I went to the emergency room and I found myself not on the doctor's side, but rather on the patients. It was a completely different experience. I walked in and the nurses who gave me a general check up were extremely (and perhaps even overly) calm and collected. One might presume that the first thing one would ask is if the patient was okay, but instead, the first thing that the nurse did was introduce himself. In that moment, I thought it a little odd but I realized later that it provided a sense of comfort and trust between the nurse and that patient. Every word that came out of the nurses' mouth was gentle and soft. I knew the accident had been bad but when I told the nurses there was not even a single change in expression or sign of worry or panic evident upon their faces - not to say that they didn't care, but moreover to emphasize that they were very conscious of how they composed themselves. The same traits were evident in the doctor that came to visit me. It was quite an experience but I think the main takeaway I have is that I feel more confident having been on the patient's side of things that a career in the medical field lies in my future. Why? Because many of the traits I saw within the nurses and doctors working the ER department, I found within myself. I do not tend to panic even when complications arise and I have a strong sense of empathy, always wanting to make the patient as comfortable as possible.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." From rides to the doctor's office to work to school, the car that I drive has provided a way for me to reach the places that I need to get to. Last week, the car that I primarily drive hit 100,000 miles. 100,000 miles. That's going around the world over 4 times. When we first bought the car, it had almost no miles on it but within just a few years, it had taken us so far. In many ways, my ISM journey has been very much like that. When I began, I knew almost nothing about pediatric neurosurgery other than the fact that it appeared to deal with kids and with the brain. But through research and my last year of mentorship, I have learned so much. Ask me about hydrocephalus or AVMs or brain tumors, and I'll be able to tell you so much. But, my journey is not over yet. I still have much to learn. With Research Showcase about 3 weeks ago, I am going to spend a lot of time focusing on areas of this speciality that I am not as familiar with such as epilepsy and craniosynostosis. In addition, I will be making a few alterations to my display board. I am going to keep the same basic design but intend on changing the middle portion of my board to better represent what I have learned these past few months. These next 3 weeks will definitely be a test of my endurance as it is a very stressful time in regards to school and extracurricular responsibilities. In journeys, there are often bends and curves in the road, but so long as you keep driving, you'll eventually reach your destination. I know that as long as keep pushing through and giving my all, I will eventually be where I want to be.

This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to help put together stockings filled with all sorts of goodies to be distributed to patients at Children's Medical Center on Christmas Day. Now, some people may question why on earth I gave up a few hours of my weekend to volunteer when I had so many other things to do. I suppose it is all about perspective. We were discussing a very similar topic in ISM today -- making an impact on the lives of those around you. Often times, we get so busy and caught up in our own lives that we fail to remember those that are around us. My ISM journey has been a study on pediatric neurosurgery, but I have learned so many more life lessons along the way and I truly believe that this has been one that has truly influenced my perspective. It is extremely easy for me to go about my day, focused only on the long lists of tasks that I must accomplish. Mayor's Youth Council. Empower. Junior Leadership Board. College Apps. Tests. Projects. Mentor Visits. Church. Family. Needless to say, trying to juggle all my responsibilities is quite an act. However, more important than any of that, is prioritizing being of service to others. As Mr. Wysong pointed out today, when people pass away, those gathered at their funeral don't remember the projects or test grades that person may have done or attained - rather they remember how that particular person made them feel. Our challenge for this week is to make every effort to make an impact on those around us - whether it be through something as small as a smile or opening the door. I want to be someone that people remember as an individual who always went above and beyond to help meet the needs of those around her.

Sweaty palms. Clammy hands. Dry throat. Just a few of the numerous things I was feeling right before I was about to give this speech. Personally speaking, I was not entirely happy with how this speech turned out. There are definitely a few things that I can improve upon in regards to my body language and also my articulation. One thing that I did notice though was that I did not rely too much on the presentation to guide me. I was familiar enough with the content that I did not have to turn often to the presentation as a reminder of what I was saying. However, as with anything we do in ISM, I am always looking to get better. I am open to any constructive criticism you might have to offer.

My last few research assessments focused heavily on brain tumors and the reason for that is because my Original Work is more than likely going to focus on the growth and spread of brain tumors. Though I did some basic research on this topic last year, I felt I needed to refresh my memory and perhaps even dig a little bit deeper in regards to what causes/prevents tumor growth. I am currently in the process of drafting my proposal for this project.  Later on this week, I will be giving my Research Speech in ISM. It will be about 10 minutes long and cover a lot of what I have learned thus far, specifically in relation to my interviews and research. I do not want my speech to be a boring presentation but rather intriguing. I realize that using huge medical terms or going in-depth into my research will more than likely lose a huge percentage of my audience so I must figure out a way in which I can convey what I have learned in a simplistic but informative manner.  As I begin my mentorship again this year, a question I have been asking
myself is: how is this year going to be better? I had an incredible experience last year and learned so much, but I do not want merely a repeat of last year -- I want to learn even more, push myself even further, and, overall, have an even more incredible journey.

Last Tuesday, I had the privilege of going to visit Dr. Weprin and from our conversation, I am so excited for the upcoming year. When I initially went in, Dr. Weprin actually offered for me to stay the entire day and shadow him and as much as I wanted to say yes, I had to say no -- but the thought of me being able to spend part of the next few months at Children's and shadowing doctors and seeing surgeries made me extremely happy. We talked a little bit about my upcoming projects for the year and some of the possibilities include researching the growth of tumors, something that has been down in adults but never in pediatrics. Dr. Weprin also is going to help get me interviews with other doctors such as orthopedic surgeons and plastic surgeons. From our brief visit, I am quite motivated to get back into the practice of going on weekly mentor visits and being able to once again experience what it is like to be working in the medical field. A huge part of these past few months were spent repeating things that I had done last year and in some regards, it was quite discouraging to go through it all again. But from my visit, I have remember why we do everything that we do - because it is all preparing us for this mentorship that is truly incredible.

It is so easy to get overwhelmed by the business of life. This past week was extremely busy for me from having 2 interviews to the Teacher Appreciation Breakfast to running a blood drive to catching up on make-up work. If there is one thing I have learned in ISM is that managing time efficiently is the difference between succeeded in life and falling way behind. This past week served as a friendly reminder that I really need to make sure that I do not wait till the last second to get things done but that I make a schedule and stick to it. I would be kidding myself if I thought that things were going to get easier from here on out. If anything, it is going to get even more busy and I had better figure a system out quickly before I drive myself to the point of insanity.
This coming week, we will be working on our display boards. I am considering changing my board from last year but the thought of having to remake it entirely is also quite daunting. In addition to that, we are beginning to prepare for our Research Speeches and writing up our Original Work proposals. I am actually meeting with Dr. Weprin tomorrow and we will be discussing what projects I will tackle this coming year.

And now comes the time when things really start going by quickly in ISM. This past Friday was Business Symposium - a huge networking opportunity for many ISM students. Essentially this an event where all the ISM students come together and are able to interact and talk with about 90+ professionals from various career paths. This is the event that we start preparing for from day one. From learning how to shake a hand to creating a resume - almost everything we have done in ISM has been directly or indirectly preparing us for this particular day. However, after going through this twice, I will say that there are some students who benefit from this far more than others. Personally speaking, I am not sure that I was able to get a lot of useful contacts within my fields. Other students however were able to get a lot of contacts. At first this was a little disheartening but I soon realized that though I might not have been able to find that many medical professionals, I still gained invaluable experience. I had been able to practice interviewing skills, get critiques regarding my resume, and even meet ISM students from other schools. At the same time, I know that things are about to start flying by. Topic Proposals. Original Work. Display Boards. Research Showcase. Interviews. Mentor Visits. All of it is coming up within the next few months and needless to say, I am beyond excited.

My first interview as this past Friday and I feel like my motivation to get back into the swing of things is increasing exponentially. Because of last year, I knew in my head what interviews were like - ask questions, get answers, takes notes, write an assessment. To some extent, it was a pretty redundant and repetitive thing. But, what I had forgotten was the fun that came along with that. There is something about having a conversation with a professional about something that you're truly passionate about that is engaging and intriguing and exciting, all at the same time. I had the privilege of interviewing Dr. Shah, who is a pediatric otolaryngologist. It is always interesting to me to make comparisons across subspecialties, to make note of those similarities and differences. I have a few more interviews lined up in the following weeks and I have a feeling that once I get started, I will find myself enjoying the whole process more.

This is  a big week in ISM in that Business Symposium is this Friday. Everything we have learned thus far from how to shake a hand to carrying conversations to dressing professionally has been in preparation for this event. I remember that this was a time in which I actually forced myself to go and talk to professionals and other adults who I did not know whatsoever. It is crazy for me to think that I ever did something like this, especially considering that I am typically not a very outgoing or social person (not to say I can't carry a conversation; I'm just not the type that will go out of my way to strike up a conversation with someone I don't know). As a personal goal/challenge, I want to push myself to interact with twice as many people as I did last time. I do not think that I took advantage of the networking opportunity this provided me last year and I want to make it a point that I do not make the same mistake again. Though I am a little bit nervous, I am also very excited and I cannot wait to see how the event unfolds.

Now that we have gone through the first few weeks of school, we have been given the go ahead to start calling and emailing to schedule interviews. Not to sound like I was bored with what we were doing before, but for me, interviews are one of the most exciting parts about ISM. Sending professional emails or reaching out to clinics through phone call or leaving voicemails -- all of it is part of the whole experience. It is a little less stressful than last year in that I am somewhat familiar with the process and know what to expect and how it works but at the same time, every single interview is unique. I have about 3 interviews in the works right now and I cannot wait to see what I learn. Last year, I focused on neurosurgery when it came to interviews but this year I have reached out to a wide variety of professionals in pediatric subspecialties which makes it all the more exciting. I know that I am going to learn quite a bit through these interviews and I am excited to finally get the ball rolling.

Getting caught up in the routine of ISM and simply going with the flow is a very common predicament. I'm not going to lie -- it's hard to stay committed to something (even if you're incredibly passionate about it) if you see no true purpose in it. Of course, ISM is an incredible experience. Of course, ISM teaches you many things. But at the same time, when you realize that majority of studenfs in ISM won't actually end up pursuing their topic of study as a career, it's a little hard to find motivation to push on.

As we began assembling our list of potential contacts to interview this year, I quickly ran into an issue. I had intended on continuing with pediatric neurosurgery as my field this year and staying with my same mentor. However, if that was the case, who was I supposed to interview? The purpose of these interviews was to learn but also to serve as a screening process for potential mentors but if I already had a mentor, what was the point?
After thinking it through, I decided that I wanted to utilize my interviews as a way to get an overview of all the various sub-specialties of pediatrics. I had focused so intently on one specific niche last year, not really recognizing that there were so many other specialties within pediatrics as well. I compiled a list of various professionals from pediatric otolaryngologists to endocrine specialists. I am really looking forward to setting up and going on these interviews because I am curious as to the differences between them.
This week we are focusing on writing our research assessments and polishing up our resume.